November Rain
by GreyTootles
Summary: Maddie is killed in a car accident. Zack becomes depressed and Cody starts to slack in school as a result of her death. They begin to drift apart in the times when they need eachother most. WARNING: Character death PAIRINGS: Cody/Max Zack/OC/Maddie.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Okay, basically this was my first fan fiction, and I completely gave up on it. So after about 3 years I am deciding to have another crack at it so I am going to rewrite it and hopefully make it a lot better and longer ect.

**SUMMARY: **Someone at the hotel is killed and everyone takes it pretty badly, but how far will one boy go to see her again?

**NOTES: **This is based in 2010; I know Zack and Cody are on the boat and what not now. But it is so much easier to write it from this year rather than trying to write it in 2006 or whatever. Also the twins are nearly 16 and look like they do now, in 2010. So basically their taller, with deeper voices. (Puberty (Y)). And Maddie is just 18, and just looks like she normally does.

**WARNING: **Character death, cursing, sexual references I guess, bit of violence and suicidal stuff so, pretty depressing stuff.

* * *

**ZACKS POV**

As I walked out of the elevator I arrived in the lobby. Things were the same as always, Moseby was attempting to be polite to a customer but was slowly losing his temper with their irritating attitude. Arwin was trying to sneak more junk into his basement ready for another bizarre invention. London was on her phone chatting away to one of her air head friends about something stupid no doubt. Esteban was chatting away to Norman the doorman. And Maddie was at the candy counter, arranging the candy into correct orders. I smiled to myself as Cody and I walked up to her. I crossed my arms over the counter, flicked my hair out of my face and said;

"Hey sweet thang", Cody rolled his eyes at my usual catchphrase but smiled and nodded at Maddie as she turned around and smiled her beautiful smile.

"Hey Zack!" she said, pinching me lightly on the shoulder for my cheap talk. "Hey Cody, so what are you guys after?"

"Oh, right well remember a couple of weeks ago I borrowed $10 from you to waste in the arcade? Well, I managed to get it back" I said, fishing out the dollar bill from my back pocket and handing it to her.

"Ah, thanks!" Maddie said, she stuffed the money into her bag. "How did you manage to get that then? I thought you were completely broke after destroying Mosbey's shoes the other day?"

"Well after the yelling, and the grounding, and the paying back to Moseby...I managed to find $10 under my bed" I explained. It was pretty embarrassing actually; you would have though at nearly 16 I would have grown out of useless pranks, well I haven't. Basically I put Fruit Loops and milk in Moseby's shoes, just for the hell of it.

Maddie chuckled to herself, remembering Moseby's screams as he put his overly priced socked foot into soggy cereal. Cody once again rolled his eyes at my immaturity.

"So Maddie what are you up to tonight? It's a Friday; surely you'll be out with London?" Cody asked.

"Oh right, actually my parents are going out so I have to babysit Liam tonight, which completely sucks as London is off to see Justin Bieber tonight."

"I thought he was 12?" Cody asked. Curiosity and humour shined through his eyes.

"HE IS NOT 12, HE IS 15 OKAY!?!?! I'm only 18, Justin is TOTALLY in my league, and I happen to find him very, _very _attractive." Maddie argued back. I couldn't help but blush as I thought of the fact that Maddie would go out with someone 3 years younger, that surely can't be a coincidence, can it?

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I meant Liam! Not Justin freakin' Bieber" Cody replied, his face breaking into a grin as Maddie started to blush about her outburst.

"Oh, oh right yeah. He is, but mum still treats him like a baby. I mean honestly, last Christmas she gave him a tricycle, with a _wheel _missed!" Maddie said as she rolled her eyes. "Anyway my shift is over now, I'll see you guys tomorrow okay?"

Maddie walked from behind the candy counter gave Cody and me a quick hug. I had to smirk to myself, it was only a year before that she towered over me, and now I was nearly a foot taller than her, and God did I use it to my advantage.

"See you later shortstop." I said as she began to strut away. She flicked her head back, gave me a playful scowl and continued towards the doors. Cody snorted with laughter at my attempt to flirt and shock his head lightly.

"What?"

"What? Nothing, nothing. I was merely laughing at your attempt to flirt. I find it rather humorous." Cody said, laughter in his eyes.

"Shut up, just because you want to get into Max's pants!" I said. Gosh, what a lame comeback. But before Cody could retaliate, there was a scream.

Seconds later my life changed.

We all heard it. Every single member of the lobby heard the tires skid, heard her scream, and worst of all, heard her limp body crash against the pavement with a dull, sickly thud.

I looked at Cody, the horror and pain in his eyes were identical to mind, we waited two more seconds before running towards the doors, pushing past people who were either attempting to get away from the mess or towards it.

I got outside and pushed the crowd of strangers and recognisable faces until I saw her. She was lying on the ground in a pool of blood. Her brown eyes were closed. Her Tipton uniform was torn, revealing deathly looking gashes on her bare flesh. Her bag was next to her, the $10 poking out of the top, and growing redder by the minute as her blood gushed out onto the sidewalk.

I collapsed on the floor. Tear spilled down my face, I did nothing to stop them, and in fact I didn't even know they were there. I didn't feel anything, everything was numb. Not from the cold, but from the sheer shock and realisation. No one dared to stop me as I pulled her onto my lap, her limp head fell to the side. Her perfect blonde hair tickled my hand as I stroked it, begging for any inch of life to still be left in her. Her red lips were in a straight line, never again would I see them pull into a smile. And her eyes, I would never see those God damn eyes ever again. Those brown eyes that made my heart flutter every time they looked at me. I was angry, so angry, the driver had just driven away, and he escaped. Did he not give a **shit** that he had just killed someone, or was he to fucking drunk to realise what he done?

A piece of gold caught the corner of my eye.

It was her name tag, pinned to her ripped clothing. I carefully rubbed it with my thumb to get the blood off. Then I saw her name in big black letters. '**MADDIE**'. I knew that every time I heard that name, I would never smile. I would frown, I would cry, I would feel pain in my heart.

It started to rain. How ironic. Rain, it represented tears, depression, heartbreak and horror, exactly what I was feeling.

I felt someone crouch down beside me and rub their hand on my shoulder and arm. My mother's hot tears dropped onto the skin of my neck as she hugged me from behind. Her hot lips prickling my skin as she gently kissed the back of my neck.

Then I felt someone kneel beside me and place their warm head on my shoulder. I knew it was Cody. I responded by resting my head on his. My clothes were damp from rain and my family's tears. My knees were cold, because they were drenched in Maddie's blood. But I didn't care. I just held her lifeless body close to mine.

My mother whispered in my ear.

"Come on honey, you can't stay forever, she needs to go." she got up; I felt her tug Cody's arm, signalling him to leave too. He got up but both my family members stopped when we heard sirens coming closer. The paramedics came out and began to snatch Maddie's body away from me; no matter how much I struggled I was not strong enough. She was pulled from my grip and flung carelessly onto a stretcher and thrown into the ambulance. Did they not care for this girl; did they not care about the girl who changed my whole life and soul? Did they not realise that without her in my life, I had no life at all?

As the van drove away I ran into the hotel, pushing past Arwin, London, Esteban, Moseby and my family. I ran into the elevator and pushed button '23'.

I couldn't help but think. I couldn't help but think horrid thoughts, Maddie was dead, and that was for fucking sure. But, that doesn't mean I couldn't see her again does it? I never told Maddie about how I felt. She thought it was a stupid crush, but over time, it increased, it developed. I don't just like her anymore. _**I fucking love her. **_

My family mean the world to me, but Maddie, she means the universe. My family can take care of themselves, Maddie can't. My family have each other, Maddie has no one. As I got out of the elevator I knew what I needed to do. I got into our suite, dripping bloody rain onto the clean carpet as I glided towards the bathroom.

_No regrets _I thought as I slammed the bathroom door.

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So, that was my second attempt on that chapter, and it's about double the length. Please review this. My story wasn't very popular before, probably because it was a load of shite, but there you go.

So please **REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!!!!!!**

Much love, Abbie! X


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Alright here we go again, chapter two. Thanks for the reviews everyone! I get a few in the space of a day which is more than I got in two years the first time i posted this story. Anyway...

**ZACKS POV**

_No regrets _I thoughts as I slammed the bathroom door behind me.

I trudged over to the bathroom mirror and peered at my reflection. My skin was pale and blotchy; my eyes were red and bloodshot. Tear marks were still present on my face, they streaked down my cheeks until they tucked under my chin. My face was empty, I was expressionless, my hollow eyes starred back at me. My spine shivered. I was scared of my own reflection, I looked worse than dead in the mirror. I had the biggest urge to punch the mirror, so I could see myself literally shatter.

So I did.

Glass flew out in every direction as my fist made impact. Pieces danced in the sink until they became still, pieces skipped on the floor until coming to a rest, pieces playfully hit me in the face before landing dully at my feet. One piece particularly caught my fancy. A perfect shining shard, it winked at me as I picked it up. I admired its sharp edges; I allowed my numb fingers to glide across the beautiful weapon.

I took my wet hoodie off and let it fall to the floor. The shard was now held firmly in my right hand, and with one quick, forceful movement, I dragged it down my left arm. Crimson liquid cried out of it at a rapid pace. I hissed with pain but didn't stop. I continued to slice my arm until there were several deep cuts. The blood still wept out of my flesh but I smiled with happiness as it dropped to the floor. I don't think I was trying to kill myself; I just wanted to feel again, I wanted to take the pain for Maddie, I wanted her to know I was still here and that I missed her. I wanted to see my blood so I knew it was there at all, I was so numb I thought I wasn't even alive.

I stood there for a good 5 minutes before my head started to feel heavy. I slide to the floor and curled up until I was a tight ball on the bathroom floor. The blood was gently spilling out of me still, staining my clothing and tangling into my hair. The more my head spun the more I felt Maddie's warm touch, the more I saw her beautiful smile, the more I heard her perfect voice. I began to hear other voices also, lots of them. They were calling for me.

"Zack, Zack where are you?" it was my mother, brother and several other people calling for me. The more I listened the more I was sure they were near. I knew I needed to hide, they couldn't see me like this; with blood surrounding my sorry figure. I lifted my heavy head with great difficulty, only to see the door handle turn.

**CODYS POV**

I couldn't believe it, Maddie was gone. It was disgusting to even think about. I was in so much shock I couldn't even cry. My mouth stayed open in shock and my eyes were wide from horror as we travelled in the elevator. When Zack ran off, mum though it would be best if we all went back to the suite to think things over, London, Moseby, Esteban, Arwin, mum and me that is. Once we got to the suite however, things would get even worse.

The first thing I saw was blood, blood dripped onto the carpet. I knew instantly that it was Maddie's, from Zack's clothing most probably. It made me feel sick, physically sick. Mum began calling Zack's name while Moseby and Arwin attempted to chat casually with tears still streaming down their faces. London was curled up on the sofa, to depressed to make eye contact with anyone, and Esteban was in the kitchen area, making drinks for everyone to take his mine off things. I on the other hand ran to the bathroom, I needed a place to be alone and no doubt Zack was in our room. Oh how wrong I was.

I grabbed the door handle and flung the bathroom door open.

_**Fuck.**_

Zack was curled up, glass shards scattered around him, he was lying in a pool of his own blood, his empty eyes looked directly into mine, and they held no expression aside from panic, panic from the fact that I had caught him in the act. In the act of fucking self harming. Did Zack not know that I needed him right now? I needed him more than ever, but instead he decided to butcher his arm up until he bled to death. I don't know whether I was upset or angry, but I slammed the bathroom door shut so violently that it made the whole room shake. I ignored my mother's questioning and stormed out of the suite, pushing Arwin out of my way in the process, before slamming the door shut I paused.

"Mum, Zack's in the bathroom, you'll need a fuck load of soap powder to get _those _stains out"

I couldn't be bothered to wait for the elevator in case someone came after me, so instead I ran down the stairs, 2 at a time until I arrived in the lobby. I was out of breathing but I never stopped. I ran until I was out on the street, and even then I didn't stop. I don't know why I left Zack; he needed me, but it wasn't even an hour a go that Zack and I were chatting with Maddie and he was already taking that action? My own twin brother is dying and I was so careless and selfish to even try and help. What the hell is wrong with me? But Zack should know, he should know I need him more than ever. He is my best friend, the one I talk to every day about my problems, the one who keeps me sain. I can tell him things; tell him things that I am even to ashamed to tell mum, or dad, or even Max.

That's when I realised where I was going, Max's house. I knew where I was as soon as I turned into her street; I continued to run until I was at her doorstep. My heart burned and my legs ached but all I wanted was to see Max. I knocked twice on the door before collapsing onto her doorstep in a humiliated pile. I was wet from rain and tears, I was furious with myself, furious for running out on Zack, and furious for allowing Max to see me in this state. She answered the door and looked down at my sopping figure.

"Cody? Is that you?" she asked. She waited two more seconds before sitting on the floor and giving me a hug. Max didn't need to know what was wrong with me, Max didn't care about getting herself wet and cold, she just hugged me. This is why I love her. _Whoa, _did I say love? Never, love Max? Could I?

Max has changed a lot over the years; she never gave up on her dark, hilarious attitude. But she did become gentler, she became feminine and delicate. She grew psychically and mentally into something perfect. Her short straight hair became long wavy curls. Her tomboyish figure grew into healthy curves. Her clothing went from boy's clothes to slim jeans and fitted tops. But she was still Max, she was still rude to anyone who deserved it. She was violent to those who pushed her, she was sarcastic to stupid questions.

And she was standing here, hugging me in the rain on the porch of her house.

"Cody, get in here you idiot, you'll freeze. What's happened?"

"A load of shits gone down today Max, I don't know where to start. I don't know if I want to. I don't know what to do, I should have helped Max. I'm a dick. Max, he could be ill. Max, she's _dead_. Max...I just...I don't know what to do anymore."

Max's face dropped at every word that came out of my mouth, she pushed me into her warm home before closing the door gently behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Jesus it has been a long time since I have updated! I literally have no excuse; apart from I got lazy, brought an Xbox and had a LOT of coursework to do over the summer. I've just started my second year of sixth form and got inspired to, well, actually start working, so, here is chapter 3.

Sorry if it is totally shit, because I kind of completely changed were this story was going, it was originally, Maddie dying, Zack killing himself, everyone at the funeral, and then Cody dying. Which was, well, tripe really. So I'm going to try and pan the story out and give it a new angst edge, rather than just killing everyone. Well, enough rambling, here it is.

**ZACKS POV:**

_Fuck, I'm dead. If I'm not already dying I sure as shit going to hell when mum walks in._

My head was throbbing as I pushed myself up from the floor into a sitting position, my back resting against the bath tub. All I could think of was Cody's face, the pure shock and disgust on his face when he saw me. I don't blame him; I must have looked a state. I didn't plan on killing myself; I just wanted to feel that pain. My vision was hazy; I didn't know what to do. Should I left myself fall back into Maddie's warm embrace and accept death? Or should I pull myself together and stop acting like a complete wimpy dick? I didn't have a chance to do any action as the door was swung open, and there stood my mother.

Her face was more horrifying to look at then Cody's, Cody was angry and repulsed. My mother's eyes only held sadness, fear, possible disappointment, and just absolute disbelief. My blood was swimming around the bathroom floor, creating miniature crimson rivers and lakes amongst the harsh white tiles. The blood in my arm had eventually slowed down to dull leak, the gashes on my arm were red raw, my brain called out to me, begging me to fix my damaged arm, to do more than just sit here, staring at the salty tears leaking down my mother's already tearstained face.

No words uttered out of her mouth as she grabbed a towel, and sunk down to my level, applying a heavy pressure to my arm with the towel. I hissed in pain. My head was starting to feel less heavy, becoming lighter as my vision began to swim; Mosby's face became distorted in the doorway as he looked on. My eyes drooped and my breathing became shaky.

"Zack, please, I can't lose you, please, Zack, stay awake. For us all, please" my mother pleaded quietly in my ear. I managed to mumble a somewhat positive reply before falling unconscious in her arms.

**CODYS POV**

"Please say something" I mumbled, staring at my feet. I'd been at Max's house for 20 minutes. I'd explained the whole situation, right down to where I ran out on Zack.

"I just, I...Don't quite know what to say, M-Maddie's, dead? Maddie? But how, and how c...How could you run out on Zack, I just. Cody, I can't believe...He could be fucking **dead** Cody! How could you leave him? Maddie is dead! Maddie is...Was the only girl he loved, you know that? The way he talked about her, I...Eurgh, Cody. Phone your mum right now, do it now and tell her you're sorry and find out what's happened to Zack...NOW!" Max yelled, tears streamed down her face as I grabbed my phone and shamefully left the room.

**MAXS POV**

I let out a deep sign as I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I can't quite believe what Cody had told me, yet I find it hard to be completely angry at him. I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie and hiccup though my tears. I take several deep breathes as I hear Cody's quite voice chatting through his phone. I tucked my knees under my chin and began toying with my slippers as Cody walked in. A small but guilty small was on his lips. However when he spoke he couldn't make eye contact with me.

"Zack's gunna be fine, mum's angry but...I think we'll be okay. He's lost a lot of blood though, he's got to stay in the hospital for a few days. But he's going to be totally fucked up now though, isn't he? He'll never be the same."

"Cody, none of us are going to be the same, not with this. Not with Maddie, Zack. Terrible things are going to happen I reckon, I can just...I can feel it. Cody, promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Don't do anything...Stupid. Don't...Hurt yourself, promise me?"

"Of course Max, I'd never hurt you"

Little did I know that Cody broke his promise as soon as he left my house.

**CODYS POV**

We hung out for a little while, Max and I. Watching rubbish afternoon TV and drinking coffee. We didn't say much, we just didn't know what to say. As I walked back from the bathroom I passed Max's brother's room, Will. I usually pay no attention to this room but a certain item caught my eye for a split second. A small white cartoon sat on his desk near the door. I'd never been interested in smoking, I'd never even tried it, and I knew most kids at school only did it to look 'cool', but I knew those select few relied on it, it helped them get rid of the stress. And stress was most defiantly what I felt right now, without a second thought I snuck into his room, snatched the cigarettes and a lighter, which was luckily next to it, and stuffed them into my jeans pocket. I wasn't one to make stupid decisions such as to start smoking, but as I'd learnt only earlier that day, that life was far too short to worry, and it didn't matter if you were good or bad, a saint or a sinner. Death took you no matter what or who you are, Maddie never did anything, she'd never hurt a fly, yet she was taken. Now I look back, all of this is a pathetic excuse to get attached to those cancer sticks, but they became the thing that helped my though this tough time, for the first couple of weeks anyway.

"Umm, Max. I'm going to go. I...I want to be home when mum get's there, I need to see her, you know. Need to apologise and that."

"Yeah Cody. I understand, text me when you get home 'kay? Text me whenever you need me."

"Yes Max. Thank you, for, everything today. You mean a lot to me, you know that?"

"Yeah I know Cody" Max said, hiding her face as she blushed slightly. I gave her a quick hug and made for the door, giving her a brisk nod before stepping outside and closing the door behind me.

As soon as I was at the end of her street, I lit up a cigarette, the smoke already making my eyes water as I raised it to my lips. I took a quick puff and instantly starting coughing. I took another, this time managing to contain the smoke in my mouth before blowing the smoke out in an unprofessional manner. The more drags I took, the sweeter the smoke tasted.

I strolled down the street, my eyes still bloodshot from the crying, with a cigarette clenched between my two fingers. I must have looked a complete wreck. I was a couple of blocks away from the hotel when I saw some familiar kids from my grade, four of them standing outside Starbucks. They were not necessarily my closest friends, but they certainly friends none the less; one of them, a boy called Aaron saw me and began waving. I went to wave back before realising the cigarette was still in my hand, and I was apparently not the only one who noticed it. Aaron looked at the cigarette and looked back to my face, shock clearing in his eyes. I was most famous at our school for being one of the least 'cool' kids, I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't go to parties and I never bunked lessons, hence the confused look on Aarons face as the smoke coiled around my body, before he could say anything I turned around and started walking back the way I came, taking the longer, but hopefully safer route home. I just hope Aaron didn't confront me about my strange new...Habit.


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHORS NOTE: **I have to apologies again. This chapter is so incredibly late. I have been so busy recently I haven't had a chance to get this story written. I also have a lot of ideas as to what is going to happen, and they keep swimming about in my brain and I'm not sure where to go with it. One thing I can promise though is that I WILL complete this story, and that the intervals between chapters will shorten.

Anyway, on with the chapter

**ZACKS POV**

My eyelids felt like they weighed a ton, I could hardly lift them as I began to wake up. My brain was completely confused for a few minutes. I could hear faint voices becoming louder in my ears, words such as "regaining consciousness", "Keep away" and "counselling" seemed to jump out. It was as my eyelids finally opened to reveal an overly bright white ceiling that I realised I was in hospital. My left arm was bandaged heavily and my head swam due to the aesthetic still being present in my body. I didn't seem to feel any emotion, I knew exactly why I was here, I didn't feel remorse at being alive, but I didn't feel sad about not being dead either. All I could think was how close I felt to Maddie in them few seconds, but how guilty I felt.

"Z-Zack? Oh my, God, Zack you're awake!" my mother said as she rushed to my bedside, the doctor who she was talking to moments before hovering in the background.

"Yeah mum" I said in a pale voice, I tried to produce a small smile.

"Zack, I'm so sorry about Maddie, I truly am, but you can't do this to me. Please, Zack, don't do this again"

"I...I promise mum, I'm...I'm sorry. I miss her already...I..."

"Shh, just rest Zack. Sleep it off."

"How long was I out for?"

"A few hours, the doctors say you need to be kept overnight, and when you're feeling well enough they want to...Um, talk to you."

"Oh...Y-Yeah, okay"

"Now Zack, just go to sleep. You need to rest, you lost a lot of blood, just sleep" my mum said. I gladly accepted her offer, as I closed my eyes she kissed me on the forehead.

**CAREYSS POV**

"How's he going to be?" I asked the doctor as I dabbed my wet eyes with a tissue

"He's going to be fine Ms Martin, as I stated before he will need some counselling. But he's made a quick recovery. He should be allowed home tomorrow, we'll give you a call"

"O-Okay" I said. I glanced at my sleeping son. His face pale and withdrawn from the day's events, it was hard to believe that it was only this morning that the accident with Maddie happened, it was now well past 5 o'clock

"He's going to be fine Ms Martin, we'll look after him. If anything comes up we'll call you instantly. Please go home and relax." Doctor Blakeford said, looking concerned at my face.

"Yes, you're right. I just feel guilty leaving him, but...But yes, I must get home to my other son" I walked over to Zack and planted another kiss on his forehead before making my way out of the hospital, and towards home.

**CODYS POV**

As soon as I got home I took the cigarettes and lighter out of my pocket and stashed them under my bed, behind my microscope and _Batman _comics. It provided an excellent hiding place, with easy access. I sent a quick text to Max, telling her I was home, as I promised. I then threw my smoke fumed clothes into the wash basket and jumped in the shower. I noticed that Zack's...Antics had been cleaned up, the only trace of red being his toothbrush sitting by the sink. The broken mirror had been removed, leaving the bathroom items in the cabinet on full display.

As I got out of the shower I heard the front door open. I quickly wrapped a towel around my skinny frame and walked into the main room to see my mother removing her jacket. She turned round as she saw me; her stern face looked at mine for a few seconds before she rushed towards me and hugged me. I squeezed her back with enough emphasis to show I was sorry for my actions today.

"Cody, when your brother comes back tomorrow you will say sorry to him, you understand. In fact, no sorry could make up for what you done to him today. You left him Cody"

"I know mum, I'm sorry, I was so angry y'know? The fact that he, tried to, like, do that, and about...Maddie, and stuff."

**...**

After eating dinner in awkward silence I went into my bedroom. Zack's bed still freshly unmade. I shut the door, opened the window and grabbed my cigarettes. I was hanging practically half way out of the window to avoid any of the smoke going into the room. After finishing I threw the cigarette and watched the red tip until it was out of sight. I closed the window and hid the carton of smokes again. I felt ridiculous and dirty for smoking again. Me. Cody Martin had begun smoking. I was disgusted at myself, but at the same time couldn't stop feeling the rush that the nicotine, among other things, gave me. I looked at the clock, it was only 7 o'clock, but I changed into my pyjamas and slipped into bed. I lay withering around in my bed for 20 minutes, I just couldn't get comfortable. Thoughts of Maddie and Zack made soft tears fall down my face. I blinked a few times before slipping out of my own bed and opening the door. I was unsurprised to see that my mum was already asleep herself, curled up on the sofa, with a disturbed expression on her face. I smiled and closed my door again, but instead of going back to my own bed, I climbed into Zack's. I took a deep breath before falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHORS NOTE: **So, it would be a bit of an understatement to say that this chapter is late. And all I can do is apologise. My life has been pretty hectic for months. School stuff, exams, work stuff, University stuff. It all kinda piled on top of me, so...If this chapter is a little bit pants, I'm sorry. But...Anyway, let's forget about it and carry on with the story shall we?

**CODYS POV:**

I woke up in Zack's bed at around 6am. Light was just beginning to peak through the curtains as I slid out of bed. I stretched and wiped the salty trails left from my tears the night before. My mind was on one thing. Maddie. It still hadn't quite sunk in. Maddie, she was gone. She was actually, physically gone from this world. It was hard imagining how things would ever get back to normal. If they were to ever go back to normal at all. But what scared me the most was was that everything was to remind me of her. The candy wrappers that littered the floor were all from the candy counter. The photograph that sat proudly on our shelves had Maddie's grin forever captured in it. Even the Pacman socks which adorned my feet were brought by her. I would miss her; I would miss her more that I thought I would. She was my sister, maybe not genetically, but we had a relationship that might as well have made us siblings.

I realised that today was a school day. No fucking way was I going to school today. I loved school, of course I did. But right now, even double maths didn't sound appealing to me. In fact, everything made me sick to the stomach. I could be presented with the most perfect and pleasing thing on the planet, but I would still feel unsatisfied. There was a hole in my stomach, not a literal hole of course, but there was no mistaking that dull ache, which longed for a certain blonde haired female. I decided that rather than grovelling in my own depression, I would get dressed. A simple pair of skinny jeans, and a plain red hoodie is what I wore. As I started slipping black and white vans onto my freshly socked feet, my mother came in.

"Oh. Cody, you're a wake" she said, while rubbing sleep and tears out of her eyes.

"Yeah mum, I thought I would go into school today. At least for a little bit. I was to get my mind of things. I mean, I know that M...I know that she...I know that _it_ only happened yesterday, but I just...I want to be strong, you know...For Zack. Zack's not exactly going to be Mr Joyful when he gets home today. So I want to be strong for him" I lied.

"No, Cody I completely agree. But promise me that if it gets too much, you'll ring, yeah? And I'll come and get you. I don't want you moving on to fast. This is...This is a big deal. For all of us"

"Yeah I know. I love you mum."

"I love you too Cody" she said, as she closed the door again. As soon as I knew she was gone, I grabbed my backpack and stuffed the cigarette cartoon and lighter between my text books. I swung it round my shoulder and walked out of my room. I felt guilty. Of _course _I felt guilty. This is me we're talking about. Cody Martin, A+ student and role model. And here I was, lying to my mother about going to school, so I could instead walk around the city and drown myself in depression, metaphorically of course. I was of course going to be there for Zack. Zack was not going to be the same, and in truth. I was scared. I was scared that Zack would be one of those kids you see on TV, who go mental for the simplest things, and lock themselves in their room to cry and hurt themselves. I was scared that...If he turned out this way...I would never see him again.

**ZACKS POV:**

_Holy fucking shit. What is that fucking thing in my arm? _I thought I as woke up in a strange, unfamiliar room. As I glanced down at my arm, I realised that this 'fucking thing' was a needle attached to my hand, pumping blood into my body. Now I'm not going to lie, I'm grateful to whoever's blood this is, but it was fucking gross. I shook my head to try and clear my brain. Where was I, why is there blood going into me, why is my arm banda...Oh yeah. _**Shit. **_The realisation hit me like an oncoming train. Maddie. Car. Blood. Dead. Mirror. Bleeding. Cody. Mum...Hospital...Maddie. Maddie. Maddie. Oh, God. It was real, she's dead. Maddie's gone. She's gone..._**Fuck**_

**MAXS POV**

"Hey, have you seen Cody?" I asked Aaron, as I leaned against my locker.

"No. I'm sorry I haven't seen him today. I saw him yesterday though..." Aaron said, brushing his blonde surfer hair out of his eyes.

"Oh, yeah. He, um...He was round mine yesterday. Something happened, you know, like...Horrid stuff" I said, as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Oh. Yeah, uh...Maddie Fitzpatrick? I um, I heard about that. I'm real sorry Max. Maybe Cody can't face today? You know, big deal for him, right?"

"Yeah. Maybe...I would have thought he would have text me or whatever. I'm ring him later. Thanks anyway Aaron" I said. I began to walk off, however Aaron called me back, he gently turned my shoulder so I was facing him. I looked into his grey eyes as he awkwardly spoke.

"Um. Max. I kinda...I kinda saw Cody...Smoking yesterday" he confessed

"What! Cody. Smoking? No. He wouldn't do that" I said, a slight chuckle in my voice

"I'm just telling you what I saw, he didn't exactly look pleased about it though. He practically ran away from me when I saw him"

"R-really? Cody's smoking. Why would he do that! Well, thanks Aaron, I guess. I'll see you later"

Cody...Smoking. What a dick. Why would he even consider this? How could he do that, after everything that happened, and now he's fucking his life up even more. First Zack...Now Cody. I'm going to have some serious trouble on my hands. Like a fucking babysitter. I knew a lot of kids smoked. I knew a lot of kids self harmed. But when it's your friends caught up in that, it's scary. I had to help them before they seriously get into something way over their heads. Something that I'm afraid they'll never get out of. It sounded simple at first, but little did I know, that by next week, Cody would be practically uncontrollable.

**ZACKS POV:**

I walked through the hospital corridors slowly. Trudging one foot down at a time, scowling down at my feet. I had attended my first therapy lesson. The doctor had said I would suffer from depression, and would require weekly therapy sessions to 'ensure that I made a healthy recovery from such trauma'. I wasn't looking where I was going an accidently bumped into a petite frame.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry" I said as I flicked my head upwards. I meet a pair of green eyes. They shined with amusement and embarrassment.

"Oh, that's okay. Most people don't notice me around here" a soft, but obviously British accent said back to me. I took a step back to fully take in the girl I had bumped into.

She was around my age, and a couple of inches shorter. She had dark curly, red hair, which hung in soft strands around her large green eyes, which were framed by thick eyelashes. She was extremely pale, so pale that she was almost transparent. Blue veins were visible through her paper thin skin. She was painfully thin, her skin tight around her skull. She had skinny fingers, one of which held a pretty ring. Her tiny figure was swamped by a white t-shirt and trouser combo. The same uniform I was wearing...A patients uniform. She smiled at me before beginning to walk away.

"Wait!" I said. She turned around, her large eyes staring back at mine, her small pink lips slightly open in confusion.

"Yes?"

"I uh...Um...I haven't seen you before!" I blurted out. Completely embarrassed. Why did I call her back? What was it that I wanted to achieve?

"Oh, well I've been here a few weeks. Maybe it's because you only arrived here yesterday afternoon...Mr..." she narrowed her eyes as she looked into mine, as if looking for answers "Martin! Zack Martin...Am I right?" she smiled.

"W-What...How do you..."

"Oh...Well you see. Most people don't know me around here, they're not observant you see. I, on the other hand, I observe. I see the things that others don't. My name's Elliott by the way. Elliott Haile" she said. She held out her bony hand.

I accepted, however held a very light grip, I felt if I were to squeeze too tight I would break her small fingers.

"Right...So, you...You know all the patients here?"

"No...Just the ones who I take interest in. You took my interest. There were so many people here for you. It fascinated me. The fact that you have so many who care for you but you tried to kil..."

"I didn't try to kill myself!" I burst out. Taking Elliott by surprise

"Oh...I'm sorry. I just assumed you had, as...Well, it's not often people arrive in hospital unconscious with self inflicted wounds without that...Intention"

"Yeah...I dunno why I done it. I just...I lost someone"

"I understand. I lost someone a year ago. When I lived back in London, my best friend died. She was murdered. I was only 14, I guess I lost my mind a little. Nothing mattered to me anymore. I stopped everything, I even stopped thinking. I got over it after a while. I was back to normal. But then my dad got a job transfer to here in Boston around 3 months ago. I started school, but I was bullied for days, because I wasn't like everybody else. And I started again, a relapse Dr Blakeford said it was. I'm getting better though, I can laugh at things again now, and I can eat food without feeling guilty" Elliott said, smiling slightly at the end of her sentence. She seemed pleased with herself.

"Uhh. Elliott – I. Um, that's horrid, but...Why are you telling me this? You don't know me?" I said gently. I didn't want to hurt this obviously fragile girls feeling.

"I trust you" she said, her green orbs penetrating my own blue ones "I don't trust many people around here. They treat me like I'm mad. I am not mad Zack. I'm just afraid of things...But you don't treat me like I'm mad Zack. I have to go now Zack. I will see you again, when I am better. I promise" she smiled once more and walked past me. It was strange. I only knew the girl for 5 minutes, but I found myself believing the promise she made. She said every sentence like poetry, her soft British accent flowing through words until it became almost hypnotic. She was also pretty. She wasn't hot, or sexy, like most girls I knew. But her dainty, button features made her stand out from the rest. They made her angelic and beautiful. Her eyes shined with the same soft laughter as someone else I knew.

I stood crying in the hospital corridor with the thought of Maddie and Elliott on my mind for what felt like hours. How I promised myself that I would never forget Maddie, but also how I would promise to meet Elliott as soon as she got better. And I knew. I don't know how. But I just _knew_ that Maddie would forgive me. Maddie would forgive me for falling in love with a certain redhead, who's British accent made me quiver with pleasure.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

Right. So...I rambled a little bit too much with that chapter. I wasn't planning to reveal Elliott until a later chapter...And she wasn't going to turn out like the one I have just written. But she is much funner to write, and I am going to enjoy developing this relationship.

I want all of your opinions. I want to know the flaws of this story. Have I moved on too much? Have I stopped Zack and Cody mourning Maddie too quickly? Obviously Maddie is the focal point of the story, but I don't want to dwell on it because it can get boring writing about depression.

**So please let me know if I am writing the characters in a realistic way. And whether you are enjoying this story!**

**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE**


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHORS NOTE: **It's been less than a week, and I'm already updating again! I'm rather pleased with myself if I am honest. Right now I am meant to be doing an English essay, but it's so dull. Anyway...Chapter 6...

**CODY'S POV:**

It was only 1:07pm and I had already smoked 5 cigarettes. I didn't realise how quickly those dirty things became addictive. I'd spent most of the day sitting in the park, admiring children on swings and elderly couples shuffling across paths. I'd received a phone call from Max, I didn't answer though, I had no explanation. I of course could have said I was at home, looking after mum and helping to make the room 'sharp-object-free' for Zack's return. However I felt it was best to not lie to her...And to instead, ignore her. It would be far less painful and troublesome.

By now I was beginning to feel hungry, I hadn't dared venture into any shops in case someone asked why I wasn't at school, but as my stomach's raw aching became too much to bear, I headed towards Starbucks.

I was surprised to see the coffee shop mostly empty, considering it was lunch time. However I took the opportunity to order a simple black coffee. I realised after looking at the sickly sweet treats in the display counter, I wasn't as hungry as I originally thought, mainly because the cigarette I smoked on the way seemed to satisfy my hunger. Once I received my caffeinated heaven, I sat myself in a corner, blissfully unaware that someone was watching me...

"Hey, Cody Martin right?" someone said. I jumped a little and looked up to see Seth Tennyson. A boy I recognised from school. I didn't know much about him other than he was 17 years old, lived with his divorced mother, and spent most of his weekends drunk or high, or most probably both.

"Umm...Yeah?" I replied.

"What you doing out of school? I thought you were like, Einstein or some shit? Not like you to ditch" he pulled up a chair and stretched out his ridiculously tight jeaned legs.

"What's it to you?" I said, with confidence that apparently appeared from nowhere

"Whoa, I was just asking dude. I don't see kids like you walking the streets during class hours, that's all. So, you got fed up with that learning shit then, eh?" he asked. He pushed his black hair out of his face, so I could see his blue eyes shine with curiosity.

"Yeah, something like that" I mumbled, avoiding eye contact

"So tell me. It's not like I got something to do."

"You're nosey, huh? If you really wanna know...A girl I knew, Maddie. She was killed in a car accident yesterday, and then my brother went psycho and tried to kill himself" I said. I was confused as to why I was telling Seth this, I barely knew him.

"Whoa, that's crazy man. I'm like, sorry and stuff. So, do you want some company? You just looked a little lonely when you walked in."

"Why would you want someone like me, to hang out with someone like you?"

"Hey! Just 'cause I got this reputation doesn't mean I'm not a nice guy. My life is fucked up, doesn't mean I can't make new friends. You seem alright Martin, although you wear those dorky jumpers"

"Alright. Sorry. I guess company would be nice."

"Cool. Well, I-uhh. I gotta go outside for a smoke though, I won't be 2 minutes though. Is that cool?" he asked, taking the cigarette which was hooked behind his ear and placing it in his mouth.

"I'll – uh. Come with you. Could I bum a smoke though?" I said. I drained the last of my coffee and got up. Seth looked at me before nodding, a smirk on his face, before walking out the door.

**ZACKS POV:**

It was 3 o'clock. I had 3 hours before I could go home. After walking back to my room, I'd spent ages just...Thinking about Maddie. Remembering her, smiling and laughing and crying and frowning. It was crazy. I couldn't believe she was really gone. But another girl was on my mind. A girl that I'd spent 10 minutes talking to, but yet a girl who I found so intriguing. I flopped onto my hard hospital bed, and let out a sigh, before Dr Blakeford walked in.

"Hey Zack, how're we doing?"

"Yeah. Good. I'm not...Exactly happy, but good"

"Zack, I know it must be hard. Trust me, I've had my far share of death, I see it everyday. I've witnessed family, friends, patients...I know it's hard. But the best way to resolve this Zack, is to not punish yourself. I suggest you do something new. Maybe pick up a hobby, make some new friends. It all helps with the healing process."

"Yeah, Dr Blakeford, sure thing. I can't forget about Maddie though. I just...It's so surreal. I can't believe she's gone, you know? I mean, one minute we're laughing about Justin frickin' Bieber, then...She's dead" I heard my voice crack, and a lump raise in my throat.

"Zack. I want you to know, that I am always here. You have my number, if you feel...Stressed at anytime, you can always call me"

"Yeah I know...Um- what do you know about Elliott Haile?" I asked, out of the blue. Trying to take my mind off of _not _crying.

"Oh...Miss Haile? She's a very interesting girl. She's certainly a character, very intelligent. And her wit is as sharp as anything, she's just very troubled...Very..."

"Misunderstood?"

"Yes" Dr Blakeford smiled "She is. She's defiantly improving though. I think that what she really needs right now is a friend. Someone who can help her forget her past. Make her smile again" he glanced at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah...I'll get on that" I said with a smile.

**CODYS POV: **

Seth and I had been wondering the streets for a good couple of hours. We'd smoked, and laughed, and learnt about each other. I learnt that Seth enjoys rock music, smoking, Donnie Darko and people who make him laugh. I also learnt that he doesn't judge a book by its cover. I always had the impression that he hated everyone, and that he would laugh at a little dork like me, but instead, he actually found me fascinating. He was also surprised to learn that I also enjoyed smoking, he said he was impressed that I could smoke like a pro, and recite Pi to 100 decimal places at the same time.

"So, Seth. Who's that band on your shirt?" I said. Pointing at 5 mop haired guys, one of whom had an impossible amount of tattoo's.

"Oh, these guys? They're Bring Me the Horizon. They're fucking awesome, you should check them out" he said, taking a puff of his smoke. "Hey. Cody, I'm having a party tomorrow night, you should come. It's gunna be the shit. It'll be at my house, my mum'll be away so it's just gunna be me, music, a fuck load of drugs and a fuck load of cool people for a whole week!"

A party...My first actual party? On one side, shy, nerdy Cody was beginning to shine through. A party Cody, really? On a Tuesday? What would your mother think? But, shy, nerdy Cody, was outspoken by this new, cool Cody. Who said, what the fuck? Go. Have an awesome time. And before I knew it, I'd arranged to meet Seth at his house at 7pm, for my first official party...And the reason I started it all.

**ZACK'S POV:**

I walked around the hospital corridors, looking for the room number which Dr Blakeford gave me. I smiled at patients and waved at nurses, before I eventually found room 231. I knocked on the door before opening.

Elliott Haile sat cross legged on her bed. Her red hair flowing down past her shoulder blades. She was reading a book titled _Looking for Alaska_. As she looked up, she grinned, but I saw tears in her eyes.

"Elliott! Elliott, what's wrong, are you okay, did I scare you?" I walked up to her bed briskly.

She giggled softly. Wiping away her tears with a gentle hand.

"No Zack. Of course not. I'm pleased to see you. I'm fine. This book is making me cry, it's ever so sad" she said. Her eyes shimmering with sadness.

"Oh, really? W-why?" I perched myself at the end of the bed, close enough so that my arm brushed hers.

"In this book you see. This boy called Miles has fallen in love with a girl called Alaska. It was beautiful, she was beautiful. But then she died. Read here" She pointed a slim finger towards a passage in the book, and I read. Tears began to form in my eyes. This book related too much to my own life. A car accident. A devastated boy, who lost the girl he loved.

"I told you it was sad. Didn't I?" Elliott said as she closed the book and placed it on her bedside table. "Maybe you could borrow it? At a time when it's not so relevant to your own life"

I looked at her in shock "How do you know about M-"

"Dr Blakeford told me. I can't imagine the pain. I lost someone I loved. You lost someone who you were _in love _with. I'm so very sorry Zack"

"It's fine Elliott." I tried to convince her, however the tears falling down my face told otherwise. Elliott just smiled at me. She took her hand, and gently brushed away my tears, her fingers left tingles on my skin.

"Zack. I don't know what it is. But, you change me. I feel myself break around you. In a good way. I can't hide my emotion. I can't pretend I'm okay when I am not. Please visit me again Zack. I want to get better. I really do"

I took her hand in mine. And I promised her I would. She looked into my eyes and smiled. She slide her small arms around my body, and gave me a hug. I hugged her back. I cradled her in my arms until I knew I had to go.

"Elliott. I have to go. I'm leaving today. Can I maybe borrow that book now?"

"Of course Zack." She handed me the book. I held it delicately in my arms. I looked into her eyes one last time before making my way to the door.

"Zack, when will I see you again?" she asked.

"When would you like to see me again?" I turned to face her, she was still sitting cross legged on her bed. She shrugged. He thin cheeks turning a shade of pink "How about tomorrow?"

Her face lit up, her perfect teeth gleaming back at mine. I smiled back and made my way to the door again. Just as I opened it, she spoke again.

"Hey Zack? Why did the mushroom go to the party?"

I turned to her, confused "What?"

"Not what...Why?"

"Okay? _Why _did the mushroom go to the party?"

"Because he was a fungi" her face beamed with laughter and pride. I looked at her, and raised an eyebrow, but with a grin firmly on my face. I shook my head before exiting the door and making my way back to my room, and eventually. Home.

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**Much love, thanks for reading **


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